Alan Partridge Big Yellow Taxi Joni Mitchell Quote

 That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains that they paved paradise to put up a parking lot. A measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise. Something, which Joanie singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song. It’s 4.25 AM, you’re listening to "Up With The Partridge".

Alan Partridge: Give him a second series quote

Alan is having lunch with Tony Hayers. He also needs Peter Linehan who is revamping news and current affairs output at the BBC.

Peter: Tony.

Tony: Peter, hello, how are you?

Peter: Fine, fine.

Tony: Erm, Alan, this is Peter Linehan he’s revamping our current affairs outputs. (Alan shrugs his shoulders)

Peter: We’ve haven’t met, but I liked your chat show.

Alan: Thank you very much.

Peter: Has he given you another series?

Alan: No, he won’t give me one!

Peter: Give him another series you swine!

Alan: Yeah, give me another series you shit!

Tony: Look, Alan I don’t want you to feel… I’ll see you later, Peter. I don’t want you to feel the doors have all closed here at the BBC. If you come up with anything else, then please I dont want you to hesitate…

You ought to have a basic grasp of Latin if you’re working in Curry’s

Hello, is that Curry’s? I’d like to make an enquiry about err, two supplementary auxiliary speakers, to go with my midi hi-fi system. Apropos, achieving surround sound.

Apropos. It’s Latin. You ought to have a basic grasp of Latin if you’re working in Curry’s. Oh you’ve got them. Excellent. Erm, one last thing. What time do you knock off? Fancy going for a drink? Right, ok, just thought I’d ask. Thank you.

You might eat them in your country, sweetheart, but we don’t here...

Sonja: You want to eat?
Alan: What have we got?
Sonja: We got eggs, we got chicken.
Alan: Which came first!
Sonja: Well, I just buy the chicken on Thursday.
Alan: Chicken’s fine.
Sonja: It’s empty.
Alan: What do you mean?
Sonja: The chicken is empty.
Alan: What do you mean the chicken is empty, do you mean it’s hollow?
Sonja: No, where is the chicken inside the chicken?
Alan: You didn’t buy a display model, did you?
Sonja: The insides.
Alan: Oh,  the giblets?
Sonja: Yeah, giblets. Yes, where is that?
Alan: But that’s awful.
Sonja: I like them!
Alan: You might eat them in your country, sweetheart. But we don’t here. I don’t want to eat an intestine, or a chicken heart on a mini muffin! It’s like some sort of voodoo canope!
Sonja: You want to make love? The bed’s ready.
Alan: Nar, I’m fine thanks. Just go and check on Michael.
Sonja: Ok. Alan, I love you.
Alan: Thanks a lot!

... followed by mince and onions

Just stayed in and wached a documentary about quicksand. Then Sonja and I took our tops off and had a cuddle, followed by mince and onions.  Doesn’t get much better than that!

Can I just shock you?

Can I just shock you? I like wine! Despite what I just said earlier. At any one time I have nine bottles of wine in my house.

This Time With Alan Partridge Trailer

Finally we have a trailer for This Time With Alan Partridge! Coming soon to BBC1!

'This Time With Alan Partridge' coming soon to @BBCOne. pic.twitter.com/UhJFu15SMf

— BBC Comedy (@bbccomedy) February 8, 2019

As soon as we have a release date, we'll let you know!

Sonja, beefeaters do no live in caravans!

Sonja, beefeaters do no live in caravans! They live in the Tower of London and they are restaurants!