View all quotes from S2 E1
Synopsis
While visiting Michael at the petrol station, Alan has a chance meeting with his old teacher Frank "Sweaty" (or "Cacky") Raphael (Andrew Burt, who also provided the voice-overs for the various Radio Norwich jingles in both series). Alan convinces Raphael to let him give a talk to the sixth formers at the school where Raphael is now headmaster. Whilst at the school, Alan bumps into an old schoolmate who is now a teacher (Ian Puleston-Davies). They try to reminisce over old times, but Alan still holds a grudge against this man, who once drew a penis on the back of his school blazer in chalk; which Alan was caned for. Later Alan begins his talk to the students which, of course, all goes wrong. Alan ends up insulting Raphael for caning him when he was younger and also insults his schoolmate for "getting the lab assistant pregnant, and never sees the kid." All of this results in Alan receiving a stern talking-to in the headmaster's office.Towards the end of the episode, the reviled schoolmate comes into the petrol station; Alan, thinking he has come to fight, tries to threaten him with an apple turnover. The schoolmate apologises to Alan and hopes that they can be friends again, but as the schoolmate leaves the petrol station a customer tells him that he has got something on his back: Alan got Lynn to draw an anatomically dubious chalk 'penis' on his back.
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